Candle Candle Burning Bright...

For those of you who read this and went to Wappingers  UMC you will remember this was one of the advent songs we sang during Pastor Dorsey's time with us.  It's now in my head the way Ana at 2 or 3 used to sing it.

Anyway yesterday started the season of Advent.  Every year I always look forward to this season of preparation especially the lighting of the Advent wreath.  Back when we used to go to the Presbyterian church I barely remember that the children of the church got to come forward as our pastor lit the candles.  When we started going to Wappinger UMC the candles were lit by different families during the season.  As the years progressed and our numbers dwindled it was the faithful remnant that lit the candles each week.

So imagine my surprise that in our new church home Jenn & I were asked to light the 1st candle.  I mean honestly our new church family I never imagined that they would have us new comers start off the season of advent.  But lo and behold we were asked and we did.  

There were some kinks, we didn't get the reading until about 15 minutes before our service started, and Anastasia couldn't decide whether or not she wanted to come up or not (she didn't but was a good girl alone in the pew), but all in all it was a nice experience.  And maybe now people will actually know my name instead of being called Jenn's sister or Anastasia's mom lol.

Am I doing too much or Not Enough?

 It's almost back to school time.  For 1 month we are officially doing remote learning.  Who knows what October will bring.  This district would like to phase the students back in for a hybrid model (2 days in school 3 remote learning).  I pray that this will happen.  Ana regressed socially during the end of the school year and unfortunately I did not catch it until she went to camp last month.

But anyway, our school supplies are purchased, we have a schedule for schooling and I have been on multiple school district online presentations for the  upcoming academic year.  I even took pretty detailed notes on the presentation this past week and shared them with our school PTA group.

But I worry, will I be enough this year?  Instead of being unemployed I'm working.  The first month I asked to close so that I can get Ana adjusted to remote learning.  I pray she succeeds, she is so very smart but so unmotivated.  The unknowns are scsry and I just wanted to vent, and since I haven't blogged in over a month I thought this was a good place to do just that...

A whirlwind of a weekend

It's been a crazy few days for me.  I started back to work a week ago Friday, helping get ornaments situated as we were planning on having a strange premiere event.  All that changed Wednesday That was when Gov. Cuomo announced that if proper hvac systems were in place malls could open.  I guess my mall did because next thing I know my boss is calling me and telling me we are opening Friday.  The next 48 hours my co-workers and I worked out butts off to ensure the store would be ready.

Cut to another busy day Saturday.  It was the long dreaded "celebration" of merger between UMC of Wappingers and Poughkeepsie UMC.  I put celebration in quotes because honestly I don't feel like I was celebrating it.  I am saddened that my childhood church is now closed and although we have a good pastor and welcoming congregation at Poughkeepsie it doesn't feel like home.  It's also hard to explain to Ana what happened and why we can't worship there anymore.  She is sad as it's the only church she has known.

Even today 2 days later she is still saying she is sad and it's not fair that the church had to close.  I hope it gets easier for her.  I hate that she is somsad about it.  I am however grateful for our new pastor Pastor Jody, who tried to make her feel welcome yesterday at service.  It's one thingnto make me feel welcome, it impresses me more when you do it for my child.

Anywhoo I'm hoping things slow a bit because after working 6 days straight (which I haven't done in 4 months) I am wiped!!!

(I Finally was in) The Room Where it Happens (Sorta)

For those of you who know me you will know that since 2016 I have been obsessed with Lin-Mnuel Miranda and Hamilton.  I got the cast album shortly after I saw the performance the cast did at the White House (it was lost when my car was totalled last year :( ) .  I have watched every behind the scenes clip I could and I was totally hyped for October 2021 when the filmed version was going to be released into theaters (I was even planning on going by myself lol)

So when Lin-Manuel Miranda announced he was releasing the filmed production early I was beyond excited!  July 3rd was now called Hamilton Day in my head.  The film was going to be released at 3 am (12 am PST).  I told myself I was not going to be up at that time (and tried not to be since I had to work that morning...my first official day back since March 16th).

Well my internal clock had other ideas.  At 3:06 I woke up.  And well I put my ear buds in and started.  If you've known me for a while you know that if I know a song I will absent-mindedly sing along.  Well I was kinda doing it, but silently.  I got through Act 1 and then went back to bed.  As much as I wanted to continue I knew I couldn't.

My initial take aways...

Amazing, the cast was wonderful in their roles.  I love people who use their face to express themselves.  I laughed so much at the King George bits.  Jonathan Groff's facial expressions are EVERYTHING!!!

Leslie Odom Jr. is amazing!  One of my favorite songs is Wait For It, his voice was perfect in that song.

The things that were hidden from the cast album were great.  Spoiler alert-you hear about John Laurens death at the end of Dear Theodosia-something that is not revealed when you hear the music.

Act 2 (watched later Friday Night) left me a blubbering mess.  From Phillipa Soo' heartwrenching song Burn, to watching Renee Elise Goldsberry become an alternate narrator in It's Quiet Uptown (a song I tend to quote when someone has passed on), to the very end when Eliza says how she has carried on the legacy of her husband and those important to him.

It was amazing and yes its the BEST seat in the house.  I am so glad I have Disney+ just so I can watch it over and over again!

My Chorus Family

During this time of anxiety and not knowing what comes next I have a source of consistency.  It is my chorus life.  Though our rehearsals are quite different than they were in February, our weekly Zoom meetings provide me with some sense of normalcy in this crazy time.

I found Evergreen in the spring of 2003 through a church choir member. I was not married, in fact I had only been dating my now husband for 6 months.  It was the first time that I was recognized for singing away from my sister.  I was hooked!  I did a singing lesson program in May and June, and in July I auditioned and passed.

Over the years the women in my chorus became extended family.  A chorus quartet provides music for my wedding in 2007, in 2012 before Ana was born many members visited me in the hospital.  They were very worried that I overdid it the week prior at Regional contest.  Through Ana's various health crisis' they were there for me.  They provided support via emails, facebook mesaages etc.  

My chorus is a way for me to get away and express myself in song and not worry about what's going on in the world around me.  

I got to experience going to International Competition with them in 2017 in Las Vegas, webplaced 3rd  out of 5 small choruses. Outside of my wedding day and the birth of Anastasia it was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.  One that I will hold dear to me for the rest of my life.  

They are the family I didn't know I needed, until all the bad stuff happened.  They have been there through it all good and bad.  I am forever thankful for Karen the choir member who introduced me to them.

Now here's my plug, if you sing and want to see what we are all about our website is http://www.evergreenchorus.org.  Please check us out and if you feel led join us for a rehearsal (when we start having them live again).  We love new faces!

You've got to accentuate the Positive

I've been out of work for almost 2 months.  I haven't been out of work that long in over 8 years.  Surprisingly I didn't struggle to collect unemployment like others have.  My application was processed quickly and I started receiving it the day after I certified. 

Ana's schooling is going ok for the most part, I try to have her start around 10 and reward her when all her assigned work is done.  She usually has a couple videos of teacher instruction to watch and then worksheets depending on the lesson.  She has done quite well on her math assessments which is an improvement from how she performs in school.

I started a new hobby, diamond painting.  It's a bit mindless but I am enjoying it. 

The positive part in all this is spending alot of time with my family.  I have been able to enjoy my daughter.  More than I have since she was born.  We have fun together and she is constantly thanking me for helping her ensure her work is done. 

So is this a bad situation, yes but am I making the best of it yes.  What choice do I have?

To Anastasia on your 8th Birthday

Dear Anastasia,

  Well you are now 8.  This past year has been slightly better than the last.  You have a new insulin pump which you like to use, you are finally on medication that helps, but everytime you are doing well, you get sick and that means drugs that cause you to have setbacks.

2nd grade has been a slight challenge, however you are getting help in reading (which you needed).  You were diagnosed with a lazy eye and now use glasses...when you want to wear them.

However this birthday will be a bit subdued.   Instead of celebrating at the Palisades mall, we must stay at home due to the mall being closed.  Coronavirus or Covid-19 has really thrown us for a loop.

We are doing online schooling for who knows how long.  And for now I am home with you.  I was afraid you wouldn't have much in the way of presents this year, but people who love and care about you have shown just how much.  For that I will be so grateful.  So Happy Birthday my spunky little girl.  You are growing so quickly, I wish you would stop!!!

By the way, as always you love your chicken, fries and white dip from McDonald's.   You are finally starting to try some fruits you don't like many, but hey it's a start.

I love you to the moon and back!!

Mama

The New Norm

Well I haven't been to work for a week now.  It's very weird.  I was scheduled off last Tuesday, with the shift cuts I ended up not having to work last Wednesday.  By that time Hallmark made the decision to close until April 1.  So yeah it's been like an unexpected paid vacation, with the exception that I have to attempt to get Ana to do some school work.

Today I came to the realization that I am literally going to have her do some writing, a page of her math that was sent home and 30 minutes of reading.  If I do this the work that was sent home will be completed by the time she is expected to go back (at this point). 

Everyday I go out to Myers Corners school to get her lunch (since she is on the free school lunch plan).  If I need something from the store I head out then and then go back home. 

This week Jenn is working from home, another thing to adjust to as Sparkle wants to be with her all the time and doesn't understand that she has to work.

Jenn and my new norm is watching a live stream of Poughkeepsie UMC's service.  Last week I missed a portion of the live stream, this week I got up in enough time to see the whole thing.  I showed Anastasia the children's message and explained that it was like what Pastor Dorsey used to do.  She seemed interested and can't wait to go to church again, oh and she thinks our new pastor Pastor Jody is pretty silly. 

So that's our new norm.  Tomorrow since it's supposed to be nice out I am going to write an inspirational message at the end of our driveway for everyone walking by.  I'll have Ana draw pictures.  That's will be our arts and crafts time :)

Keep your chin up everyone.  A Song to keep your spirits up  (listen to the lyrics the visual is probably not the best for this time but I love this song).

The Craziness that is the Coronavirus

So it's Tuesday night and I am sitting at home watching Wheel of Fortune instead of standing on risers with my Evergreen Family.  The day to day has changed dramatically in the past 6 days.  Starting Thursday things just went from eek to holy S&×#! 

Thursday started like any other day I went to work, and as its been for the past couple weeks it was slow.  Days that we generally make $1,000 we've made maybe 750 at most.  Then I get an email from Sweet Adelines International, all regional competitions are cancelled for 2020.  Then another email from the Bishop of our church conference, no services for 2 weeks.  Our church merger service cancelled.  At least 2 weeks of chorus rehearsals cancelled.  Just insane.

That evening I drove my parents and Anastasia to dinner at Perkins, ended up trying to find lysol wipes at the dollar store with no luck.  Then we went to BJs, and that was insane.  The line started in the back of the store and snaked around the left side. I waited for an hour to pay for 2 gallons of milk.

Friday came and I found out one of my co workers almost got sprayed with Lysol.  All because she asked if the customer needed help.  Then right after 3 the announcement came that schools were going to be closed for 2 weeks.  Panic just seems to set in with my customers with kids, many wondering how they are going to deal for 2 weeks.

Saturday I was off, so I don't know how crazy the outside world really was.  We went to a friends to celebrate their child's birthday (very small gathering).  Sunday I live streamed church, very odd.

Then Monday came.  Lots of stores in the mall either closed or reduced hours.  Lots of questions being asked that we don't have answers to.  Reduced hours for my staff and I, and questions as to how I'm going to pay my bills. 

Concerns about how kids will be able to learn if its online learning, how the ones that rely on school lunches will eat.  Confusion, alot of confusion.

Things are constantly changing.  Who knows if tomorrow the Governor or County executive will force the mall to close or what.  But whatever happens I know I am safe and that I will get through it.

BJs Monday evening