I think one of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around is that since Ana's diagnosis and hospitalization I am no longer her favorite parent, it's been a long time coming. When she was born I was unemployed and remained that way until she was 7 months old. It hurts though, it really does. Alex and I made the decisions we did because we felt it was the best. I am only part time so I don't qualify for paid sick time where Alex has it. So we decided that I would work the weekend while he stayed in the hospital with her.
When we got home the acting out started to get worse. "Do you want Mommy?" "No" screaming follows. Recently it has really gotten to me at bed time. Since we got home Anastasia has refused to go to sleep for me. Her new routine is to read a book watch us play a game on our tablet or Alex's PSP and then she falls asleep. Well that's how it is when Alex puts her to bed. When I try it's a fight the whole time. Last week she fought me so hard she slammed her head into my cheek. It's still sore.
I am at a loss. I love her so much it hurts me to see her acting out at me. When it's time to change her diaper I get kicked, repeatedly. I try to discipline her but it rarely works. If she doesn't stop by the time I finish changing her she goes in time out for 10 minutes.
I guess it's just time for some tough love. It's hard, she's only 2 & now she has an auto immune disease but a mom has to do what she must do.
Thanks for reading this vent. It's what has been on my mind lately.
