One Year Ago

If you asked me over a year ago if my daughter had diabetes I would have told you "no she's just growing and likes her milk."  A year ago tomorrow we were dicharged from Albany.  In many ways working with the pump I feel we are back to that day. 

We check her blood at least 13 times a day and pray that we have a good day...or 2.  We have a couple of good checks but nothing spectacular.  I do love that Anastasia has more confidence.  Today we were in Target and when we checked out the cashier asked how she was and Anastasia immediately pulled up her shirt to show off her pump pouch.  The cashier didn't understand but of course why would she. 

I've cried alot in private this week.  Reading my posts on Facebook from last year and seeing the fear and total loss of direction.  I'm still lost at times.  Anastasia's hair was growing back but it seems to have receded again.  Very upsetting for me. 

It's been a tough year.  I'm hoping the next one is better.  I pray it is, because my baby girl deserves it.

A life revolving around Diabetes.

I am so tired...

Really tired.  I should be sleeping, I don't have to check Ana's blood for another 3 hours.  Yet here I lay awake.  I feel like it's a year ago and we are back to square 1.

I know we're not but it's hard not to feel that way when we are testing blood at least 12 times a day, sometimes more.

To make things worse Anastasia has a really painful rash that isn't getting any better....underlying cause...probably the diabetes.  Thankfully we can get a strong cream and it will clear it up.  But that means taking her to the doctor (which I hope I can do tomorrow).

Thursday and Friday I had some really bad dizzy spells.  I would lay down and after a few seconds the room would spin.  They seem to have gone away but it still was scary.

It may have been a little reminder to take care of myself.  But for now I can hopefully get some sleep...