I love and hate the app Time hop at the same time. I love it because it shows all your past fb & instagram posts for the day in years past (as well as tweets). I hate it for pretty much the same reason.
I enjoy seeing posts and comments about my accomplishments (when I got my job at Hallmark, the first sonogram pics of Anastasia, feeling good about my job etc). But now we are getting close to it being a year after our diagnosis and what I am seeing is actually making me question myself as a mom.
I know I shouldn't dwell but that is just who I am and what I do. In today's feed there was a picture of Anastasia watching cartoons on our tablet. She had been sick the day before and I just stared at the picture wondering why didn't I see that she still looked sick? Why did I think she was better?
Looking back I know I should have listened to my mom when she suspected Anastasia was diabetic. I should have taken her to a doctor sooner. But I can't change the past. I can learn from it though, and as I struggle through the next few weeks I pray to have the courage to stay strong during our transition from syringes to the pump.
This is the hand we were given and we will make the best of it no matter what.
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