Right decisions

So last post I talked about how frustrating it is that people think that Anastasia has cancer because of her baldness.  It was a vent, I admit it.  I tend to use this blog to get things out and if people get annoyed at me about it oh well.  This week I finally got the nerve to call a dermatologists office and see what we can do.

I'm hoping they can help, praying they can.  As superficial as it is, I cannot look at pictures of Ana from last year and not get upset with myself for not doing something sooner.  She had a full head of hair and it's now wisps, if that.

So if you can on October 7th please keep us in your thoughts as we take her to yet another doctor (which I really wanted to avoid because I am so sick of taking her to different doctors for things....what parent wants to take their toddler to 3 different doctors), and hopefully get some answers and if we are lucky a resolution.

My daughter doesn't have cancer, thanks for asking.

The past few weeks Anastasia has gotten stared at alot.  She has pretty much no hair on her head so of course the common perception is that she has cancer and she lost her hair due to treatment.  I've had strangers look at her and say "oh no!"  It's so very frustrating to me as her mom to have to get the people who say something to me to stop assuming and realize that her hair loss is a weird side effect of diabetes. 

I have an extra pay check in October so I'm hoping I can find a dermatologist to take her to. 

Hats are my best friend right now.  Luckily she loves wearing them.  When she wears them you can't tell she's bald. 

At least she's happy though, that's the most important thing.

Crazy Summer

So it's been a while.  Almost a month since I've written here.  Anastasia loves her new bed and hasn't slept with us in about a month!  Nothing new is really going on.  Still adjusting numbers with the pump.

Saturday night I had the misfortune of being rear-ended on my way home from work.  I am okay, just a bit sore.  I am so very thankful that Anastasia was not with me otherwise I think it would be worse.

Like I said nothing else really going on except in a couple weeks I'll be on vacation...yay!!!

Co-sleeping no more

So on and off the first 2 years of her life Ana co-slept with us.  After her diagnosis it ended up pretty much staying that way.  In my opinion it was just easier because we had 3 other people in our home to worry about keeping awake with having our toddler cry it out.

Over the past few months we have been casually mentioning how nice it would be for Ana to have her own space, aka her own bed.  She even picked out which bed she would want if we got her one.  Well Friday we finally bought it for her. 

The first night was hard.  She was so excited at first but then she started whining that she wanted to sleep with Alex and I.  That broke my heart.  Finally she fell asleep and only woke twice during the night.  1 was for her usual cup and 2 was to go potty.

Last night she woke up once and was just whining in her sleep, which she has already done once tonight as well.  However she has stayed in her bed!  I am so proud of her! 

I am also praying that this will be permanent, because I am liking not having  my 3 year old try to push me out of bed!

She has grown up so fast!  We are so glad though that she likes sleeping in her bed, and grateful it wasn't a hard transition.

Phew!

Random Acts of Kindness go a long way

Before I start I just wanted to thank everyone who has read my blog over the past year.  I can't believe I've been blogging about my journey for a year now!!!  I promise I will try to be better about blogging.  Though 30 posts in 1 year is better than I have done in the past.  I think this year I will go for at least 52 posts.  I think I can do that!

If you have ever been blessed to have a random act of kindness bestowed on you, you know what a gift it can be.  I have been blessed to have been a part of some RAOK and also have tried to pay it forward as well.  A few months ago Alex and I were getting Dunkin Donuts at the drive through.  We placed our order and when we got to the window to pay we were told, "the car in front of you paid for your order already."  Well we had our money out already so Alex without missing a beat handed the barista his money and said, "Then this can go toward the car behind us."  It felt good to pay it forward.

Today however we were blessed by someone, and I cannot even put into words how it made me feel.  We were eating our lunch with Anastasia, we went through our usual routine, prick her finger get her blood sugar level, see if she needed insulin, then let her eat.  We are so used to it we left her kit on the table.  A couple of times I caught the eye of the woman at the table behind us.  She wasn't annoyed looking, but she did look curious. As we were getting our garbage together the woman approached me and handed me money and said "Your lunch is on me, I am praying for your little girl."  I was floored.  she then asked for Anastasia's name so she could lift her up in prayer and left.  Alex and I looked at each other in awe.

I of course started crying because she was so nice, then I realized she was watching us as we cared for our diabetic daughter.  We are so immune about it after a year (though I'd really like for numbers to stabilize with the pump) we never realized that someone outside of us would realize what we are doing.

So to the angel who blessed us today I thank you from the bottom of my heart, you truly do not know how you touched me today.

One Year Ago

If you asked me over a year ago if my daughter had diabetes I would have told you "no she's just growing and likes her milk."  A year ago tomorrow we were dicharged from Albany.  In many ways working with the pump I feel we are back to that day. 

We check her blood at least 13 times a day and pray that we have a good day...or 2.  We have a couple of good checks but nothing spectacular.  I do love that Anastasia has more confidence.  Today we were in Target and when we checked out the cashier asked how she was and Anastasia immediately pulled up her shirt to show off her pump pouch.  The cashier didn't understand but of course why would she. 

I've cried alot in private this week.  Reading my posts on Facebook from last year and seeing the fear and total loss of direction.  I'm still lost at times.  Anastasia's hair was growing back but it seems to have receded again.  Very upsetting for me. 

It's been a tough year.  I'm hoping the next one is better.  I pray it is, because my baby girl deserves it.

A life revolving around Diabetes.

I am so tired...

Really tired.  I should be sleeping, I don't have to check Ana's blood for another 3 hours.  Yet here I lay awake.  I feel like it's a year ago and we are back to square 1.

I know we're not but it's hard not to feel that way when we are testing blood at least 12 times a day, sometimes more.

To make things worse Anastasia has a really painful rash that isn't getting any better....underlying cause...probably the diabetes.  Thankfully we can get a strong cream and it will clear it up.  But that means taking her to the doctor (which I hope I can do tomorrow).

Thursday and Friday I had some really bad dizzy spells.  I would lay down and after a few seconds the room would spin.  They seem to have gone away but it still was scary.

It may have been a little reminder to take care of myself.  But for now I can hopefully get some sleep...